What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 02:38
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Would you let your partner cheat on you every now and again?
All the time i was locked up.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
So whats the point in blame.
What is a good way to conduct an interview?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I waited trembling.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
What happens when you get sick in a country with universal healthcare? What's the process like?
Im dying but, im not bitter.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?
But it wasn’t much.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
If a female has XX chromosomes and a male has XY chromosomes, what chromosomes do transgenders have?
Why did i forgive my father ?
We were not on the streets..
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Some men love anal sex more than vaginal sex. Why?
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
How good do you sing and how do you know this?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Is there an MBTI personality that is more or less likely to handle stress?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
What do flat earthers think about Antarctica?
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
We all went to grammer schools
Why do men like to have sex with a woman's ass?
She loved him until the end.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
What was your first gay male experience?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I will be 64.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
One cannot live in the past .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
(And it was in our own minds.)
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
This is soul school!.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
She wouldn,t have been !
I couldn’t, believe it.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He resisted the act ,that day.
I was scared of men, in general
I have no regrets .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I write beautiful poetry .
And i lived it daily.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Comes on , in middle age.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
It was going to be , some day.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
But ive been too sick for many years..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
What did i know ?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
But, we were locked up after school.
She found it foreign!.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Put me off passion for life!!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
He knew the spot.
So, i spoilt her more .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
When she asked me how she looked .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I don,t even have a pension.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Was to survive, this bastard.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I was seconnd youngest,
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Who then, do I blame.?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Would this be the day?
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I said to her
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I think the readers, may guess!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I was very sick at this time too.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
She married twice! .
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
He was dying to do it , i knew.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Ive learnt so much.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
My family never makes their pension either.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Im still living with it.
My life is so biszare .
I was 9 years of age.
She was in good health!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I never cut or harmed myself..
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!